The Girl's Guyde

The geek fest continues

2009-05-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

Not to be confused with Star Wars, Star Trek comes to theaters on Friday. It could be worse. Atleast the boys are pretty. See the new Spock and Captain Kirk below.

Fans of either (or both) media empires will be quick to tell you they are NOT the same thing. There are books published about this sorta thing. But if you need a quick crib sheet, here you go:

Star Trek
Characters: Captain Kirk, Spock, Scotty, Lt. Hikaru Sulu (he changes rank depending on where you are in the story)
Famous lines: Live Long and Prosper, Beam me up, Scotty.
Bonus: Directed by JJ Abrams, who does Alias and Lost. Oh, and Winona Ryder plays Spock's mom.

Star Wars Characters: Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Yoda, Chewbacca, C3PO, R2D2, Darth Vader Famous lines: May the Force Be With You, Luke, I am your father Bonus: See the arrested development link from our previous post.

Those clever geeks...

2009-05-04T14:34:00.000-07:00

Today is Star Wars Day.

Above: Yoda and his light saber.

We know, it makes us want to open up a jar of cheez whiz and listen for the rim shot, too. But there's no denying that Star Wars has been a phenomenon for over 30 years. There's even an app that can turn your iphone into a light saber. But be careful, you could get too carried away and end up looking like this guy. Or, that classic clip from Arrested Development.

The start of summer...blockbusters

2009-04-30T02:25:00.000-07:00

Get ready, because tomorrow is opening day for X-Men Origins: Wolverine. And if you/your guy is really nerdy, you already have your tickets for the midnight showing. This'll be the 4th film for the X-Men series (the first three were X-Men, X2 and X-Men: The Last Stand).

As the title suggests, this film focuses Wolverine and is a prequel to his time before X-Men. And whether you're into the X-Men or not, atleast you'll be able to stare at Hugh Jackman for 107 minutes. Not too shabby.

The movie made recent headlines because it was leaked last month onto the internet. Fox is saying it wasn't a complete, final version of the movie, which makes us think it might have been a marketing ploy. Really, the people who are going to be super-excited to download this film illegally off the internet are going to be the same people who want to see it in the theater with all the special effects.

Haven't seen the other movies and need a quick primer? You might want to try this or this or the good ol' wiki standby. If X-Men isn't your or your guy's thing, here's the schedule of summer movies so you can mark your calendars. Don't forget to sneak sour patch kids, twizzlers and sno-caps in your handbag before heading out!

Comic Con

2009-04-29T05:53:00.000-07:00

If you're really into scrapbooking, you may look forward to your annual scrapbook convention (or monthly, or weekly-- google tells us there are a crazy number of scrapbooking conventions out there). If you like to get together and shop with the girls, Shecky's girls night out might be your thing. And if you're a comic book/graphic novel lover, Comic Con is your mecca. That's right, comic conventions. Is it nerdy? Well, of course. But it appears we are a nation of nerds, because Comic Con is wildy popular.

In fact, 126 THOUSAND people attended the International Comic Con in San Diego last year and the attendence list reads like some kind of crazy Hollywood smorgasboard: Tori Amos, Ludacris, Dakota Fanning, Will Smith, Keanu Reeves, Doogie Howser. This year's convention is coming up July 24th and the attendence is projected to be even higher.

So why is it so popular? Well, Comic Con brings together a love for comics, the chance to meet the creators behind said comics, a preview into the newest upcoming stuff (and in a way, it's very similar to wanting the latest gadget out there or atleast knowing about it) and dress-up. Yes, the dress-up factor might be one of the favorite aspects of this geek-fest. Admit it, you get excited when Halloween comes around and you're planning out your costume. This gives you an excuse to dress up at least twice a year.

Oh, and the other reason guys might look forward to it so much are the liberties some participants might take with their costumes. I mean, when you know there are going to be people at Comic Con who look like this:

or this

it's a collision of geekdom and hot girls... every guy's fantasy come true. Who can blame them? Now all we need is a convention where hot-muscley men bring us shoes to try on and feed us chocolate...

Comic Book vs. Graphic Novel Part 2

2009-04-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

Alright, now that we've covered the comic book, what exactly is graphic novel? Here is the definition from Diamond Comics, one of the world's largest comics distributors:

Sometimes, multiple issues of a series are collected into one volume. It can be hardcover or softcover. Softcover editions are often called “trade paperbacks,” or just “trades,” regardless of size. A hardcover or a softcover can also be called a “graphic novel.”

When a story is published in the hardcover or soft cover format first (that is, without periodical serialization), it is referred to as a graphic novel and only a graphic novel.

So, basically, a graphic novel can either be looked at as the full season DVD collection of, say Season 1 of Lost, if we use the example from yesterday vs. buying just a single episode from somewhere like iTunes or Amazon. If you did this, it would be equivalent to buying a single comic book.

Now, the definition above also mentioned that a graphic novel can also be a stand alone story. These graphic novels are more equivalent to movies and in many ways, movies and a tv series represent the same differences found between graphic novels and comic books.

A movie is a stand alone story and is not serialized beforehand (for the most part, we won't talk about movies made from serialized things like tv shows and books, etc.). Anyway, a movie can have sequels, but these are also stand alone stories in the same way graphic novels can have sequels. The best examples of this type? Watchmen (By most people's opinions, one of the best of all time), The Spirit, Sin City, 300.

Graphic Novel pics on left, movie pics on right

Now, you might have noticed that most of the comic book characters and graphic novels mentioned here have been turned into movies. We will get to that in a later post :) But there you have it, the difference between comic books and graphic novels. Now go forth and spread our geeky knowledge!

Comic Book vs. Graphic Novel Part 1

2009-04-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

Well, May is upon us. We were sweltering in 90 degree heat over the weekend, how about you? Anyway, the warm weather can only mean one thing, the summer blockbuster season is upon us. This, in turn, means, you and any men in your life whom you go see the movies with, will begin that interminable debate over what to see come movie night. You want to see the Proposal with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds, or Ghosts of Girlfriends Past with Jennifer Gardner and Matthew McShirt-Off-all-the-time. He wants to see Wolverine and Star Trek.

So, we thought it'd be good to take some time and discuss why these movies have such a pull to the men in our lives and since Wolverine kicks off this blockbuster extravaganza, we thought we'd start with comic books since superheroes have taken over the box office.

In order to understand the male love of these movies, we need to delve deep into the dark underbelly of their childhood. If you delve deep enough you will find their first encounter with a comic book.

Nowadays, there is a huge debate raging between comic books vs. graphic novels and what the difference is. Today, we thought we'd break down what a comic book is.

Here is what DC comics, one of the largest comic's producers (they brought you Superman, Batman and Wonderwoman, just to name a few), has to say on the subject:

Q. What are comics?
A. Variously referred to as comics, comic strips and comic books, the comics format as we know it today is a unique art form and literary medium that originated in the U.S. in the late 1800s. Its popularity exploded in the U.S. in 1938 with the hugely popular introduction of SUPERMAN. Ironically, it has become relatively more popular in many other countries around the world, where adults and children read it avidly. At its simplest, a comic is a series of words and pictures that is presented in a sequential manner to form a narrative.

Although many people regard comics as purely humorous or think theyâre meant only for younger readers, this is far from the truth. Today's comics span a wide range of styles and genres÷you only need to browse through our Comics and Graphic Novels to see the incredible variety that just this one company has to offer.

For an entertaining overview of the comics medium, history, and so on, we recommend that you check out Scott McCloud's two books, UNDERSTANDING COMICS and REINVENTING COMICS, which are fascinating looks at the medium told in comics format.
(http://www.dccomics.com/new_to_comics/index.html)

Now, there is a whole culture of comics that we will go into later on in the week, but if you feel the need to approach a guy on the subject, you need to get the basics down first. Mainly, the difference between a comic book and a graphic novel.

For right now, think of a comic book as a television series like Lost. Every week there's a new episode and it's completely serialized, meaning, if you want to understand the next one you had better watched all the previous ones leading up to it. And that's what comic books are. Every book or magazine is a new episode in the series.

Most popular comics companies? DC and Marvel. The characters within each are often referred to living in the DC or Marvel Universe. Examples of the most popular DC characters were named earlier. Some of Marvels: X-Men, Ironman, Hulk and Spiderman.

And if you really want to see how confusing the comics world can get, check this out (and it's only for the world of Spiderman):
http://www.marvel.com/universe3zx/utility/network.htm

And there you have it. Your comic book basics. Now remember what you've learned today because you'll need it tomorrow when we go into graphic novels...

Grill vs. Grillz vs. Grille

2009-04-24T06:05:00.000-07:00

Now that you are thoroughly schooled in the art of grilling, where grilling refers to cooking, we thought we should take a look at some of the other grills out there. It's interesting, but it seems that most things containing the name "grill" are loved by mostly men.

Men hate to cook but love to grill. Let's look at our next "grill".

This type of Grille we're talking about appears on your car and we all know how men feel about cars. Look no further than Ludacris and his song "Southern Hospitality"

Ah
Cadillac grilles
Cadillac bills
Check out the oil
My Cadillac spills

Need I say more? The grille on the car has always been a big deal, even back in the muscle car days. Observe:

Next, of course, are grillz. Now, granted, girls get grillz, however, it's mostly men who choose to dress up their teeth with bling.

Sexy I'll take item No. FKG-S106

Finally, we look at the verb form of being "grilled". Again, usually it's a male police officer, except on Law and Order, doing the "grilling" of a certain suspect.

So, you tell us, what is it about the word "grill"?! Do men have some sort of monopoly on the word? I mean, seriously? Seriously. We need to do something about this ladies. We need to give the word "grill" new meaning. Do whatever you have to do.

Decorate your teeth.

Pose in front of your car grille. Um, you don't have to do it like this but, you know.

Go out and "grill" a guy.

Oh yeah, the new Grills will be all about Girrrrllllzzzzz!

Man Meat

2009-04-23T06:23:00.000-07:00

Who needs the fancy fru-fru stuff like grilled pineapple? We're talking meat! (okay, in case you really were jonesing for that pineapple...look here.)

Your bbq staples are obviously hot dogs, brats, burgers, ribs (if you're an overachiever-- and if you're REALLY an overachiever, you might want to look here.) and steaks. As All-American as Budweiser. Oh, wait....

But what if you're looking to wow (or at least make an impression) your guy with some new meat? Here are our suggestions:

Ostrich burgers. They're super lean yet still "red" meat. Also available cooked at your local Fuddruckers, but what fun is that?

Bison steaks and burgers- Throw an Oregon Trail themed bbq with bison steaks and burgers as the main feature. Just remember, always accept help from the Indians as guides.

Do like the Hawaiians do and get your SPAM on.

Spam is everywhere in Hawaii. They grill it, eat spam and eggs, put it in sushi, on top of pizza... Not convinced it's for you? Maybe a trip to the Spam museum in Austin, Minnesota will help ease your uncertainty. Or you could just visit the Spam cyberworld.

That's all for today! Check back tomorrow for our look at grills....and grillz.

Fake it till you make it

2009-04-22T05:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, so maybe you live in an apartment complex that's not so grill friendly, and grilling on your balcony is frowned upon. Or illegal. Maybe the thought of having to get a grill, lug back a dusty bag of charcoal (black marks are NOT attractive on your clothes, ew) , lighter fluid and hope your limited boy scouting skills will actually get a fire going is just too much hassle. What's a girl to do? Never fear, we have a solution for you...get a Foreman!

Seriously, the staple college cooking appliance has come along way since the days of manual-labor intensive cleaning and scrubbing of the machine. The grill trays are now removable and dishwasherable. You can throw frozen foods on there and they turn out great. And that crazy George and his crew are getting even wackier by making interchangable trays so you can not only grill, but also make pancakes and bake pizzas.

We swear we don't own stock in foreman grills. But if you're intimidated or limited by grilling equipment, we say that the foreman is a good compromise. But beware- the foreman grills are not completely innocuous. Remember when Michael Scott accidentally grilled his foot because he keeps it at the foot of his bed in order to wake up to the smell of sizzling bacon?

A good way to prevent this is to get a foreman that's too big for the foot of your bed. In fact, there are foremans out there that look like REAL grills. And for you ballers out there, here's one that you can even plug your ipod into, so you can get your jam on while you grill.

It probably looks bigger in real life.

Tomorrow, we explore fun things to grill. Hint: It's not your foot. Sorry, Michael!

We didn't start the fire...

2009-04-21T07:30:00.000-07:00

But after this post you will definitely have started a fire. So, let your inner pyro out and let's get started:

Pyro from X-Men

Lighting charcoal grills
These are more time intensive when starting them.

1.) Go shopping. You'll need charcoal, lighter fluid and if you don't have any already, long handled tongs, spatulas, etc.

When choosing charcoal, there are many different types in terms of flavor. Some have mesquite flavored coals, etc. and these just add flavor to whatever you're grilling. There are also self-igniting brands of charcoal, in which case you don't need lighter fluid, you can also use a charcoal chimney to avoid using lighter fluid, but we won't be covering the charcoal chimney here.

2.) Remove the top "grilling" rack, where you'll actually cook the meat. There may be a bottom rack, in this case the charcoal can go on top of it. Otherwise determine how much charcoal you'll need and make a single layer. Usually, they say a single layer for things like burgers or steaks, and a double for roasts like whole chickens, etc. Pour the amount you need in, then form it into a pyramid with the charcoal.

3.) Some people like to pour the lighter fluid on the liquid before they arrange in a pyramid, this is up to you. We like to stack it in a pyramid first, then douse it. When you pour your lighter fluid you want to make sure you're getting more in the center than on the edges. It's about 2oz of fluid per pound of charcoal. Once you've doused the coals in fluid, place the container as far away from the grill as possible.

SAFETY NOTE: It is a very BAD idea to add lighter fluid after you've lit the grill. Do Not Do This. It can cause flame ups, which means you could definitely lose our eyebrows.

4.) Once your lighter fluid is safely put away, use a long match or bbq lighter and light the bottom of the coals. You may need to do this in a few places to get the coals lit, depending on how much charcoal you're using.

If you're using self-igniting briquettes, skip dousing in lighter fluid to this step. Just stack the pyramid and light from the bottom.

5.) Now you wait. You want to let the coals burn until they are all white on the surface. Keep the cover off and stay near so you can keep an eye on it because, depending on how much coal you have, this could take anywhere from 10 mins to 45 mins. Just don't be tempted to add more lighter fluid in order to speed up the process. Once they all have the white coating of grey ash, that means they're burning evenly and it's almost time to start grilling.

6.) Grab your long grilling utensil and rearrange the coals to form your single layer (we're assuming you're doing direct grilling, like chicken breasts, steaks, burger, etc.). Once you've spread the coals into a single layer you can put the top rack back on. (You'll want to coat it with oil to keep meats from sticking).

7.) The placement of the rack depends on the temperature with which you want to cook. For higher temperatures and faster cooking, place rack closer to the coals, for longer or lesser temps, place rack higher and further away from the coals. Once the rack is placed, close the lid and wait 5 minutes to allow the rack to heat up, then place your meats and, voila, you're grilling!

Now that you can start a charcoal grill, starting a gas grill is a piece of cake and we're not really going to go into it that much because you just have to follow the instructions that came with the grill which are pretty easy. However, the gas grill has the added step of the gas tank. What do you do when it's empty?

The easiest thing you can do is take the empty tank to a place like Home Depot or Lowes. Many of them have programs where you bring in the empty one and they either fill it or give you a new one while taking the old take for a nominal fee. Totally easy.

Are you Gassy?

2009-04-20T08:05:00.000-07:00

No, I don't mean are you flatulent. I'm talking about grills. Are the gas grilling type or the charcoal grilling type because it's that time again. Grillin' time and we're here to help you figure out how to do the grilln' yourself this time instead of handing it over to the men in your life.

The first thing you need to do? Pick out a grill. They come in many shapes and sizes, and the main rule of thumb is, the easier it is to use, the less flavor you'll get out of it, which can be bad and good. The two main types of grills for spring are Gas and Charcoal. So, which one do you choose? We're gonna help you figure that out.

Gass grill

Charcoal grill

First things first, do you have any safety rules in your area about grill on decks in apartments, condos, etc. counties, cities, states have laws about grills in these areas, so check that out first.

Now that you've done that, let's get down to business. The first thing to consider is - Cost. What can you afford?

Charcoal grills are generally cheaper than gas grills. They can often be found secondhand at garage sales and such and there's really not much to them. However, that's just the cost of the grill, what about fuel? Well, for every use, charcoal can cost you up to $5 or more whereas gas grills will only cost you about $.20/use and a tank of gas can last a long time. With charcoal, you'll have to schlep to the store to pick up more every time you want to grill. So, in the long run a charcoal grill can cost you more depending on how much you use it.

Next up, Space. What type of area is this grill going in? If it's small and enclosed a gas grill may not be feasible because of it's shear size and because they are prone to flare ups. So, to avoid burning down your house, you may want to avoid those. Charcoal grills can run smaller and more portable (although they do have small, portable gas grills for camping) and are not prone to flare ups unless you go crazy with lighter fluid, which we do not suggest you do, but that's for tomorrow. So, you may very well be constricted by the amount of space you have.

Gass grill flare up. But don't be scared :) We'll go over how to avoid such things.

Taste. If that smokey flavor of traditional bbq is important to you, charcoal grills will give that to you more so than a gas grill, however, this leads to our next thing to consider...

Example of traditional Texas bbq over wood chips (a whole nother grillin story, wood chips)

Convenience. If you want to be able to come home and slap some meat on the grill after a long day of work, a charcoal grill is not very conducive to this because of the amount of work that goes into lighting it. If you just want something for parties or get together's every once in awhile on the weekends, than charcoal won't be so bad.

And there you have it. Your guide to choosing a grill that fits your needs. Tomorrow, we'll go over lighting them!

Playing Defense

2009-04-17T22:05:00.000-07:00

No, not sports defense, defense in the club against sleazy sexual predators.

Let's face it, when you go out, some guy will try and hit on you (because we know all of our blog readers are hot gorgeous babes). Now, sometimes, if they're cute, this is welcome. Other times, not so much.

So, here is our top 5 defensive moves against the sleeze:

5.) If you are thrown a really cheesy pick up line, like, "Are you tired? Cuz you've been running through my mind all day!" Give him cheese back and say, "Thanks, my night wouldn't have been complete without a little cheeeese." See, meet cheesy with cheesy, corny with corny.

4.) If a guy is a hoverer. You know, the ones that come around you but don't actually dance with you or say anything or do anything, they just...hover. And stare. They also like to stare. If you have one of these and he's cute, obviously dance with him and put him out of his misery. If not, then when they get closer you need to do this:

Break into your best Saturday Night Fever imitation so if he gets anywhere near you he'll get his eyes poked out by your pointy disco fingers.

3.) If you're at the bar and a guy buys you a drink and then, because he's bought you said drink, decides that entitles him to say something really stupid or derogatory, feel free to tell him he can have his drink back and then proceed to dump it on him.

Aiming low is good

4.) If a guy comes up behind you and starts freaking you, move close to a random guy that looks bigger than the one behind you, then slip out of the way so creepy guy is now freaking big random guy and hope big random guy punches him.

5.) If he's really sleazy and really gross, as in, greasy hair, half unbuttoned shirt with hairy chest and a lot of gold chains, then your #1 line of defense is to scream and run away. The screaming alerts other innocent girls to the creepy threat approaching, so please, if you encounter such creepiness, please do your fellow sister a favor and sound the alarm.

And with that scary image, that we hope ingrains in you the importance of learning to play defense, have a safe and sleeze free weekend!

What Your Drink Says About You

2009-04-16T13:14:00.000-07:00

Your drink can say a lot about you. Especially if you're out on a first date (um, because you TOTALLY nabbed that hottie at happy hour!), so if you're trying to make an impression-good, bad, outrageous- (whatever, we don't judge) , be conscious of your beverage selection. Here's what we think the following drinks say on a first date:

Beer- Either, "I'm low maintenance and can kick back like one of the boys", or "I'm at a brewery". However, if you're drinking Natty Light (aka "Natural Light") it says "I like water" and if it's Miller High Life it says "I'm a little trailer trashy". There's really no good reason you should be drinking a 40 on a first date.

Cosmos- "I heart Sex and the City and the color pink". Seriously, that show put cosmos and Manolos on the map. Not that that's a bad thing.

Rum and coke, cranberry vodkas- "I'm unoriginal and sheep-like. Baaa. Isn't that what everyone else is drinking?"

Apple or Chocolate Martini- "I like the look of drinking but hate the taste of alcohol. I'm girly".

Sloe Screw Against the Wall, Harvey Wallbanger- "Why are we not back at your place yet?"

The Skinny Girl Margarita, by Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson- "Does this glass make me look fat?"

One final note. There are A LOT of drinks out there and bartenders, no matter how good they are, won't know them all. Especially for the way out there drinks (usually shooters, but not always) know what's in a zombie (light and dark rum, grenadine, oj, triple sec, sour mix) or sand in your butt (pineapple juice, midori, soco) so you can tell the bartender if necessary. Don't get caught having to do the awkward shrug when the bartender asks you what's in it. Happy beveraging!

Navigating foreign territory...the Sports Bar

2009-04-15T21:35:00.000-07:00

If the glasses post was too confusing for you, we have the perfect alternative, where a knowledge of proper glassware is shunned, but alcohol is still consumed in large quantities...the Sports Bar.

Why do I need to know anything about Sports Bar you ask? Simple:

1.) Let's say a guy you're interested in finally asks you to meet up with him and some of his friends...at a sports bar. What do you do?

2.) Your man is always at the Sports Bar with his buddies and you'd like to see more of him, so you finally accept one of his invitations. How do you keep yourself from being bored out of your mind?

3.) You are single and ready to mingle and are looking for some good hunting grounds. One of your guy friends suggests going with him to a sports bar and you gladly accept. How do you start the hunt if the guys are there to watch sports?

All viable reasons you need to know your way around a sports bar. Now, sports bars come in a variety of flavors. Some, like ESPN Zone, have a Dave and Busters, arcade-ish set up along with the large screen tv's. If this is the case, be sure to wear a sports bra, don't bring a large purse and wear comfortable shoes, because you're going to be playing ski ball and throwing basketballs and if you're not, then you'll be holding jackets and drinks while everyone else is having fun.

If it's a restaurant/sports bar, like Champps, you can afford to be a little more dressed up. After all, it is a restaurant.

If it's a straight up sports bar, don't wear anything you don't want to get dirty.

One thing all three types of sports bars have in common? A gazillion tv's. Usually at least one large screen and then plenty of small ones. Usually they'll all be playing different things because during spring and summer, there's multiple games from multiple sports going on.

Now, there are two basic scenarios that occur when going to a sports bar. Either there's a really big game on, like Red Sox vs. Yankees or some other huge rivalry or playoff game, or it's just regular season play and it's more of a social thing, where no one has a good enough tv to watch sports on, so they go to the bar.

This is equivalent to the Nordstrom semi-annual sale vs. just a normal sale. With semi-annual sales, you make plans ahead of time to hit them and prepare, this is a serious shopping trip. Whereas, if it's just a plain old sale, it's more of a spur of the moment thing, oh there's sale, wanna go look? You may or may not buy something.

Keeping this in mind should give you an idea of what's going through guys' minds when they're at the sports bar. During the semi-annual sale you don't want any distractions, you dont' take your friend with you who needs constant supervision when shopping, you take the friend who can fend for herself. The same goes for the big game.

If you find yourself in this situation you have 1 of 2 options. Either bring something to do, a magazine, a book or a girlfriend. Or, learn a little bit about the game and try to pay attention, but, this is not one of those times where you should be asking a lot of questions and trying to strike up random conversation. Drink your beer, eat your wings and cheer when everyone else does.

If it's a regular game, feel free to socialize. This is the perfect time and place to ask anyone around you to explain anything going on and to be on the hunt for that new guy.

Just remember, those sitting closest to the tv's are going to be pretty serious and really want to watch the games, similar to the ladies who wait outside the doors of a store before a big sale. These people are vulchers, try and stay away from them.

Otherwise, drink beer, eat a burger (because you just can't eat salads at sports bars) and have fun!

Know Your Cups

2009-04-14T19:32:00.000-07:00

Don't ever try drinking whiskey out of a martini glass. And if you get a bartender who tries to pull such tom foolery on you, you have our permission to splash the drink back in his face. But don't get caught not knowing what kind of glass you should drink your pink cadillac out of (ahem, that would be a martini glass). For instance, say you order a martini, and the bartender asks you if you want that "up". You're not sure what that means, so you just shake your head. Then you get served a martini with ice in a rocks glass. Hey, you asked for it and didn't even know it. To help you prevent such situations, we've provided a brief overview on bar glassware.

The rocks glass. Not just for drinks served on the rocks. Okay, yes, the glass is made for your drinks with ice. Your gin and tonics, gimlets, rusty nails (scotch and drambuie. Drambuie is a licorice flavored liqueur). Also, if you wanted your martini on the rocks, this is how it would be served. A lot of guys who don't want to drink out of the martini glass will ask for it on the rocks instead. In case you've ever wondered, "dirty" martinis are made that way with olive juice so you get kind of a briny taste. Yum.

The highball glass is usually for drinks that involve a liquor and a mixer. So your rum and cokes, vodka cranberry (aka the cape cod). There actually is a "highball" drink which is a mix of whiskey and soda. For these drinks, your bartender should always be pouring the liquor in first. Why? Alcohol is lighter than water, or juice or soda. So when you put it in first, it naturally wants to rise to the top. Density issues. Okay, we won't bore you with details.

The collins glass. Yes, it looks like the highball glass but a bit taller. That's because this baby holds a mixture of liquor, sour mix and soda- layered in the glass in that order. They're generally know as Tom Collins, Jim Collins, Name-a-dude Collins. Slight changes in the beverages, but that's the idea.

The martini/cocktail glass. Now we're getting into familiar territory. There is never to be any ice in these glasses, though if you have a good bartender he/she will fill them with ice and water to chill them in front of you. This glass is home to the beloved cosmo, grasshopper, pink cadillacs...usually anything that's shaken/stirred in mixing cups that you're not downing in one shot.

We're skipping shot glasses because c'mon. We've all been there. Also a note of caution. Say you order a vodka soda and it comes in a big glass that restaurants typically serve water in. You might be getting a LOT more vodka than in your standard drink. We learned that the hard way in a VERY expensive cab ride.

Liquor? I barely know her!

2009-04-13T19:48:00.000-07:00

So now that the weather is getting warmer and sunnier, it can only mean one thing: outdoor happy hour. Happy hours are great- they provide you the opportunity to try new places, build office camaraderie and well let's face it...talk to the newbie you've been eyeing. But before you start a tab at the bar, here are a few basics of the hard stuff. After all, it's embarrassing to admit you don't know what you're drinking.

Vodka- Women drink vodka. Why? Because it has no smell, and women in the olden days could get away with drinking it undetected (I guess until they stumbled off of their horse or something). Also, it's not lady-like to reek of booze. So we've been told. Good vodka shouldn't have any taste to it, just some bite. This stuff used to be made out of potatoes, but now it's usually made out of grains. Commonly used in martinis, "girly" drinks (cosmos, with juices like cranberry, oj, grapefruit) and shooters (lemon drops, kamikazes).

Whiskey- Men drink whiskey. Why? Because unlike vodka, it has taste. Tastes like fire. That doesn't mean that as a woman, you shouldn't drink it. Whiskey is made from grains (malt grains, rye or corn) and is aged in a cask, which gives it the golden color. Common mixers are sour mix, Coke, ginger ale, water or "neat" which means by itself.

Scotch- Gentlemen drink scotch. This is just whiskey that follows some rules. It actually has to come from Scotland and be aged for over 3 years in the oak cask. Sometimes you'll see "single malt scotch" which means it only uses one type of barley and comes from one distillery. "Blended" means multiple grains and the liquid is made from different scotches from different distilleries. Sort of like a "whiskey jungle juice". There's not much you mix in with scotch- maybe water or soda, but that's about it. Otherwise you drink it neat.

Gin- There are no guidelines on who's suppossed to drink gin. Gin is made from the juniper berry which is why it smells kind of flowery. Gin is usually the basis of a martini (but vodka has surpassed it in popularity). Common drinks with gin are gin and tonics, a gimlet (gin and lime juice/syrup) and a Tom Collins (gin, sour mix and soda). Personally, we hate gin. Blech.

Rum- One of the most popular liquors. Rum is made from sugar cane or molasses. Accordingly, it's used in a lot of tropical cocktails. You'll find it in mojitos, rum runners and mai tais. Mix it with Coke, and if you add a lime wedge, it becomes a Cuba libre.

So now that you've got the basics, tomorrow we explore the different glassware that go with different beverages. After all, you don't want to look silly drinking whiskey out of a martini glass...

Mesh Patches

2009-04-10T17:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, so now the holes in your walls are all filled in and ready to go. But what about when you got a little too crazy dancing around your place and accidentally punched a hole in your window screen?

Well, like those patches for your clothes that were popular in the late '90s, luckily a similar solution is available for window screens.

Step 1: Head out to that favorite hardware store of yours (my, they're getting to know you quite well!) and look for a patch kit that matches the mesh of your window screen.

Step 2: At home, take the kit and cut out a piece of screen. You want to make sure it's bigger than the hole- about an inch in all directions.

Step 3: Using pliers (or your nails, if they haven't been freshly manicured), unravel some of the strands from the hole-y screen and weave in the strands from the repair piece. Bend the ends of the repair patch strands in place. Good bye unwanted flying visitors, hello full security deposit refund!

Here's a great link if you want an animated guided tour of every which way to fix a mesh screen: http://www.doityourself.com/stry/h2workwithscreens

Cover up

2009-04-09T09:27:00.000-07:00

So yesterday we discussed how to put holes in your wall to hang pictures, mirrors or that naked poster of yourself (well, if your name is Posh Spice). But what if you messed up and now have an unsightly hole in your wall? Or, what if you're moving out of your apartment and would like to collect all of your security deposit back?

Back in college, we used to use toothpaste to cover up wall holes in our dorm rooms. Toothpaste might still work if you've got tiny pin holes and a blind landlord. But if you're looking for some longer-lasting stuff that doesn't smell minty fresh, the answer my friends, lies in spackle.

Spackle is like the grown-up version of toothpaste...for walls. Like Kleenex and Xerox, Spackle actually a brand name that people have now used to refer to the generic version- tissues, copies and drywall filler. Anyway, enough with the history lesson- how do I fill my nail holes!?

Step 1: Head over to your favorite hardware store and pick up some spackling paste (you can also find this in powder form, but why do extra work when you don't have to?). Look for the lightweight vinyl kind- it has minimal shrinkage and sagging. And nobody likes shrinkage and sagging. Also, pick up sandpaper (something on the finer side- 100 or 20o) and if you really want to look like a pro, a spackle knife like shown above. However, depending on the size of your job, you could be just fine with a butter knife or bag of wooden tongue depressors stolen from the doctor's office. Also, paint for your walls if the apartment requires it, though many states require apartments to be repainted before the new tennants move in, so check and potentially save yourself a step here.

Step 2: Back at home, don't be alarmed if your putty looks neon in color- they will dry white-ish gray. Using your knife, thinly spread a layer over your repair area- just like spreading peanut butter on toast... if you were on a diet. Let dry.

Step 3: Sand down your dried spackled area so it blends in the the surrounding areas.

Step 4: Paint! You're done!

Note: There are a number of videos out there that show you how to repair drywall. If you've got bigger holes to patch, check out this guy here. He's kinda cute.

Hangin' Tough

2009-04-08T07:04:00.000-07:00

Well, it's about that time again, Spring Cleaning time. This also happens to be a time when a lot of people are moving out and moving into new abodes, so we thought this would be a perfect time to do some posts on some easy Do It Yourself (DIY) projects to help you out.

The first on our list is hanging things on your walls. Now, I know this sounds easy enough and if it's a small 5x7 frame, that already has a hook on the back and all you need to do is stick a nail in the wall, then yes, this is pretty easy. However, if you're looking to hang something larger, say a big, heavy mirror in your bathroom, or a new shelf, or a huge, life size, naked portrait of yourself - oh wait, that's posh spice - then you've come to the right place.

In the following example we will be hanging a large, (23in x 36in) whiteboard.

Tools and materials needed for this project:
Hammer
Drill (don't be scared)
Phillips screwdriver (we'll go over which one that is)
Drywall anchors
Screws
Brackets
Level
Stud finder
Pencil
Tape Measurer
Newspaper (optional)

First we'll go over some basics, for example, what a Phillips head is. See picture below. It's not the flat one. I have screwdriver bits for my power drill and that's what you are looking at, however, you can use a normal screwdriver, it will just be a little more work.

Phillips head screwdriver

Also, a note on Drywall anchors. So, drywall is what your walls are made of and it's not, like, 10in thick otherwise you wouldn't be able to hear your neighbors when they're, you know, doing stuff, so the drywall itself can't support that much leverage if something's hanging from it. In addition, the material drywall is made out of does not offer regular screws very much traction to screw into. Basically, if you screw a normal screw into drywall and then try to hang something from it, that screw and whatever's hanging, will fall right off because the drywall will not hold the threads of the screw.

This is a drywall anchor

This is where our post title comes in. If you'd like whatever you're hanging to "hang tough", in the words of NKOTB, then you need drywall anchors. These go into the wall first, wherever your screw would go and then the screw goes into the anchors. This allows whatever you're hanging from the screw to stay up and not fall on you and if it's going above your bed, then, um, you don't really want anything falling on you, especially if you might, ah, be knocking the wall a little bit. Anyway, so that's the explanation about anchors.

I should also note that the anchors are only for drywall, if your hole is going into a stud (which is the wood or metal, but most likely wood, that your drywall is attached to and holding up your house, then you don't need anchors because the screw is going into wood and wood will support a screw because it's a denser material than drywall, so your screw won't fall out.

What exactly is a stud if it's not a hot guy from the 80's because, um, who actually uses that word to describe a cute guy anymore? Well, it's usually wood, a 2x4 and a series of these "studs" forms the skeleton of any building. It's basically what holds it up. See picture below.

They are usually evenly spaced and you need to know if you're drilling into one of those or into drywall which is why we need a Stud Finder, and no, it doesn't find available, handsome men, it only finds pieces of wood, which, for some of us, would be a vast improvement on our other studs :) See picture below.

Also, a note on brackets. In my case, I'm hanging a white board, this came with brackets, sometimes, whatever you're hanging will come with their own brackets, anchors and screws, if not, you'll need to pick up these things yourself. You can just go to a hardware store or Home Depot or Lowes, tell them what you're hanging, make sure you tell them approximate dimensions, etc. and that you need anchors, screws and brackets and they will be able to point you in the right direction. When you're hanging things your brackets, anchors and screws can look different, be different sizes, etc. than what I'm using here.

Ok, so, down to the nitty gritty.

Step 1.) Figure out approximately where you want whatever you're hanging to go. Think about how many holes you'll be drilling and how much space you need. In my case, I need 2 holes because my whiteboard will hang from the brackets. I'm hanging it horizontally, so the 36in side will be parallel with the floor which means I'll space my 2 holes 24inches apart.

Step 2.) Measure out where the holes will go. In order to do this, for me, since the board has an aluminum frame, I use a pencil and mark off 5.5inches from each end, this centers my 24inches between holes perfectly in the center. Then, I place the white board, with my marks against the wall where I want it to go.

Step 3.) At this point I need a pencil and my level in order to mark the wall where the holes will go. I place the board against the wall where I want it, place the level on top of the frame to make sure it's level, I don't want a leaning whiteboard, and then I use the pencil and mark off where I want my holes based on the lines I made on the frame.

Note: If you cannot mark up the frame, don't worry. You can also hold whatever you're hanging against the wall with the level and tape measurer and just do everything against the wall. It's more difficult, but it can be done.

Step 4.) After marking my holes I grab my stud finder to see if the holes will be made in drywall or a stud. In my case, both holes were in drywall so I need 2 anchors.

Step 5.) Check the directions with your anchors, it will tell you what size drillbit you need to make the holes. The drillbit will be smaller than the anchor at its very top. In my case I need a 1/4" drillbit. See below.

1/4" drill bit

Step 5a.) Optional - if you dont' want to have to vacuum afterward, I would suggest laying newspaper down below where you're drilling. This will catch the dust and make clean up easier.

Step 6.) Attach the drill bit to the drill and then, before doing any drilling, press the bit lightly into the wall where your pencil mark is for the hole. This little indentation gives you a nice guide. Also, when using a drill, or any power tools for that matter, I highly suggest tying your hair back because if it gets caught in the winding motion, well, let's just say the only solution is to get a hair cut.

Indentation will look something like this

Step 7.) Once your indentations are made, drill your holes. Make sure your arm is level and that you only aplly slight pressure. It shoudn't take much to go through drywall. Switch the direction of the drill in order to remove the drill from the hole.

Holes after you've drilled them

Step 8.) Grab your anchors and a hammer. The anchor should go into the hole up to a point and then require a few taps with the hammer to go the rest of the way in. The anchor should sit flush with the wall, you don't want to hammer it in too much and crack the drywall where the anchor is making an indentation into the wall. So you don't need to hammer too hard, just enough to get it in.

Anchors will go in about this far easily, then you need the hammer

After you hammer it in, it'll be flush to the wall like this

Step 9.) Grab your screws, brackets and screwdrivers. Insert screws into bracket and then insert into the anchor. Use your screw driver and turn it to your right to tighten the screw until it's as tight as it can go.

Bracket after it's on the wall

Should be flush like this and not warped or spaced away from the wall

Step 10.) Hang whatever you're hanging and clean up. You're done!

And look, I found my stud! Heehee.

Ok, so this is the basics of hanging things that are fairly heavy or will need to support some weight. The basics are the same for most things, no matter what you're hanging from your walls. Tomorrow, we're patching it up, how to patch holes and avoid losing some of your deposit!

What Makes Grown Men Cry

2009-04-07T07:27:00.000-07:00

No, it's not their mother dying. It's not the birth of their firstborn.

It's winning the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship. Evidence? See below.

Yes ladies, it's finally here - April. Which means, the end of March Madness. Take a deep breath and let's say it all together now...THANK GOD!

Now, if you chose to copy our bracket you did pretty good in your office pool because you predicted the correct champion, the UNC Tarheels. Congrats to them and to you if you: a) won any money or b) won the hot new guy in your office :)

A few tips on things to talk about today:

1.) Ty Lawson. He turned down the chance to go to the NBA this year in order to return to UNC to win a championship and he did. When he wasn't nailing his shots he decided to focus on defense and it paid off.

2.) Tyler Hansbrough (one of our Big Men on campus) also came up big. He's another one who chose to return in order to win a championship.

3.) Coah Roy Williams, who won his second championship at UNC, the last one was in 2005.

4.) Another plus, no one got shot in Detroit. Yay.

So, to wrap up our posts on March Madness, here are our last bits of wisdom:

If you chose the Tarheels to win, please utilize your trash talking abilities today to hammer the rest of your male co-workers. If you have to, jump on your desk and do a little dance. You know they would if they'd won.

Your skills will carry over to the NBA season. That's right, the NBA, they have a championship too, so if you think the men in your life will be less distracted, thing again. It's not a month long extravaganza that is nearly as exciting as the NCAA, but there's still a lot of game watching and trash talking. So, don't forget what you have learned here young grasshopper.

Peeps will always do it better. You can't tell me that the actual game was better than our Peep's diorama!

And with that we say, Good Night and Good Luck to March Madness. Until next year, we're on to bigger and better things.

The Peeps Championship

2009-04-06T03:51:00.000-07:00

So here we are, at the Championship! Michigan State will play UNC tonight for the title of NCAA Champ. Maybe your bracket's been shot for weeks, or maybe you're still in the running for winning your office pool...and maybe you're just glad for it to all come to an end.

With the Easter season upon us, we here at the Girl's Guyde thought it would be fun to capture the championship, peep-style.

Tip off

Three-pointer

Don't you hate it when you're trying to get a picture and some guy's head is in the way?

The Washington Post runs an annual Peeps diorama contest. Sadly, we missed this year's entry deadline, but will be practiced and ready for next year! Check out last year's Washington Post Peep entries here.

Foursomes

2009-04-03T01:58:00.000-07:00

So with the upcoming games, we return our focus to men's college basketball. The Final Four tournament starts in Detroit on Saturday, with Michigan State playing Connecticut and North Carolina playing Villanova. Monday will be the final showdown.

This got us thinking about fours. Final Fours, favorite fours... For instance, who we'd want from Friends to watch the Final Four with:

Joey, Chandler, Phoebe and Ross dressed as the Holiday Armadillo. Monica would get too competitive and obnoxious. Rachel would need to first read our post about what to wear before we'd add her to this list.

And our favorite four eats for game watching:

That's right. Fried-bad-for-you-goes-great-with-beer-goodness. Hot wings, waffle fries, nachos and mozzarella sticks. This is making us hungry...

So we want to ask...who would you want to watch the Final Four with, and what would you guys be munching on? Send us your answers in a comment or to girlsguyde@gmail.com. We'll post up our favorites next week.

Monday we get ready for the championship- Peeps-style.

It's Getting Hot in Herr

2009-04-02T10:11:00.000-07:00

It's that time again. The time where we all work out and diet like crazy trying to get bikini ready by summer. I mean, who doesn't love that summer heat?

Your car. Your car doesn't always like summer heat. So, today's post is about what to look for and what to do if your car overheats.

Here is the number 1 sign your car is overheating - smoke coming from the hood of your car. Regardless of how advanced your car is, this is a telltale sign. Some cars will have check engine lights that come on, but some don't and if you fall into the latter category, then this is what you'll see:

See, even Nicole Richie and her Beemer can overheat, which means you can too.

The most common reason you car will overheat is because the coolant/antifreeze is low. So the other thing to pay attention to, if you'd like to avoid having your car smoke, is your temperature gauge. This does not always pick up if your engine is overheating, but is another good indicator.

A little note about antifreeze- check to see if your parked car is leaving any puddles of it. If you find liquid that's clear and scentless, like water, than it's probably a result of the AC and is fine. However, if the liquid has a greenish tint, then you've got a problem because now you're leaking antifreeze or coolant. Just think of it as ice cubes in your water. If you are leaking this stuff, then there is a high possibility that you could overheat. Regardless of whether or not you're leaking it, it's always a good idea to frequently check the coolant levels in your car during the summer to avoid the smoking car sitch.

So, what do you do if you're on the road and you haven't done any of this stuff and your car starts to smoke?

Step 1: Pull over and turn off the engine.

Step 2: If your hood is steaming DO NOT OPEN THE HOOD, IT WILL BE HOOOOTTTTT!

Step 3: After you've waited until it's cooled a little, grab a rag or something to protect your hands, when opening the hood, which might still be toasty.

Step 4: In order to check if your car is steaming because of overheating, check the coolant levels in your coolant tank first. You do this by locating the coolant reservoir, which looks like this:

Step 5: After locating the coolant reservoir, you'll be able to see lines that say full and low, etc. If the coolant level is low, then you're probably overheating.

Step 6: To be sure, use your rag and CAREFULLY unscrew the Radiator cap. If you do this too fast and it hasn't cooled down all the way then you could burn yourself with steam. If you're unsure, wait longer.

Step 7: Once you've unscrewed the radiator cap, look into the radiator and see if you can see any coolant. If you can't, then you are definitely overheating and need to add some coolant.

Step 8: If you're fortunate enough to be close to a gas station or at a home that has another car, check the type of coolant you need in your owner's manual, then go and pick up some coolant.

Step 9: Be sure it's properly diluted to 50% water 50% coolant. You can dilute it yourself or buy premixed coolant.

Step 10: If there is no coolant in your radiator you can add it directly to the radiator.

Step 11: Screw the cap back on and you're done.

Step 12: If you are close to a gas station and you've checked and you know your car is overheating, you can wait for the engine to cool a little and then start up the car again WITH THE HEAT BLASTING. This seems counterintuitive, but your heating and cooling system is directly tied to the fan that cools your engine and when the heat is blasting cooler air is circulating through your engine. This will allow you to limp slowly to a nearby gas station, but not too far.

There you have it! Pulling over with a steaming car will undoubtedly attract a cute, chivalrous man who will feel compelled to stop and help you. When he does, let him take off his shirt first before you impress him with your overheating knowledge of coolant ;)

Just Say "No"

2009-04-01T08:49:00.000-07:00

We're women, we should be very good at saying no. We say no to that creepy guy that asks for our number, we say no to any fashion trends that bring back the 80's and we say no to the weird telemarketers that somehow get our numbers even though we're on the do not call list. But, we still seem to have trouble saying no to our mechanic.

Since we already talked about oil yesterday, we'll stay on that topic. Mechanics are notorious for ripping off women. The moment they see or hear you they start scheming. If you go in for a basic oil change, stick to that plan! We've all been there. They ask you if you want the super oil, the additives, the awesome filters...and then all of a sudden your $30 oil change turns into a hundred-dollar tab. But they make it sound so important; these upgrades will save your car's life! But like the extra pounds that extra krispy kreme donut will surely add to your figure, the fancy oil change add-ons just aren't necessary.

Your car can make do and run just fine with a basic oil change. You don't need anything else, so don't let them make you feel stupid and bully you into saying yes. Stay firm and say no, regardless of what it is. Also, when the Jiffy Lube dude shows you the air filter he pulled out of your car, don't agree to buy a new one. It's a filter, it's supposed to look dirty. Also, Jiffy Lube's slogan is "Every 3,000 miles". However, being the savvy car owner, you check the owner's manual first. Many cars can go 5,000 miles before an oil change. It's like those directions on shampoo bottles of "lather, rinse, repeat". Who actually "repeats"?!?!?! That only makes you go through shampoo twice as fast.

But what if I have a good, trusted mechanic? Great! In that case, he shouldn't be asking you if you'd like to upgrade your oil or want you to add a super transmission cleaner, etc. Anything along those lines, is a definite indication of a scam. However, if it's something along the lines of them finding something else wrong with your car while they're rummaging around in there, you should still say no, at least for the moment.

They could very well be right, but you should definitely get a second or third opinion, if not to confirm you have an additional problem, then at least to get comparable estimates so you can go back well-informed to your original mechanic. A good resource to look into is www.repairpal.com, which lets you find what reasonable repair rates are, depending on your location. Even perusing some of the reviews at Yelp.com can give you a better idea of a place, if you're shopping around for a repair shop.

So remember, don't be a victim to sleazy mechanics and clever marketing techniques. Just say no!

Fluids

2009-03-31T08:02:00.000-07:00

Sorry to disappoint those of you with dirty minds, but I am talking about fluids in your car. Not as sexy but just as entertaining. Ok, maybe not entertaining, how about useful?

The first fluid we're going to cover is oil. No, we're not going to talk about changing our own oil, I've done it and it's messy. However, you do need to know if our oil is low and if you don't have a brand spanking new car, then you'll have to do this the old fashioned way.

Now, there are a few advantages to doing this. First it looks like you know something about cars because it requires you to pop the hood of your car and this, of course, will always impress the guys. Need an example? How about Megan Fox in Transformers, see below.

And yes, I do suggest doing this in a belly shirt in the middle of summer because oil does not come out of clothes. And here we go:

Step 1: Be sure to have your car on level ground, that way you'll get an accurate reading, then pop the hood of your car. If you've never done this, there's usually a latch in the center underneath. It will either slide to the right or the left in order to open the hood. After the hood's released, prop the hood up with the arm that usually resides on the side or in front of the hood.

Step 2: Grab an old towel you won't use again for showering or cooking. Paper towel will work as well.

Step 3: Locate the dipstick that is usually near the engine oil cap. All cars are different, but see picture below, you'll be looking for something similar to this.

Step 4: Once you've located the dipstick, pull it out and wipe it clean with the towel. You should see at the bottom of the dip stick something that looks like this:

The X's are sometimes dots or the stick might actually say full or low.

Step 5: Place the dipstick back in its place, then pull it out again and check to see where the oil line lies. if it is below the X's then this means you need about a quart of oil, otherwise you're fine.

Step 6: Check your owner's manual to see what kind of oil your car takes, buy oil, then pour a quart of it into the tank where the engine oil cap is. Using a funnel for this makes life cleaner and easier. When you're done DO NOT FORGET TO SCREW THE CAP BACK ON!

And you're done. Remove the arm stand and shut the hood. Wasn't that easy? Especially given when the alternative is having your car start smoking and break down on the side of the road...leading to potentially expensive repairs and towing. And let's face it...most tow truck drivers...not hot.

Elimination Weekend

2009-03-30T08:50:00.000-07:00

So after four days of tournaments, the final four teams have emerged. They are (drumroll, please).....

#2 Michigan State

#1 Connecticut

#3 Villanova

#1 North Carolina

Since they're all highly ranked, none of them qualify as a Cinderella. Guess the NCAA fairy godmother is taking a break this year. Detroit will welcome Michigan State v. Connecticut and Villanova v. North Carolina for games on Saturday, April 4th. Winners from that round will face off Monday, April 6th. At least that will bring in SOME revenue for the ailing motor city...but that's another soapbox, for another post.

Onto prettier things! We've got the results of our "Better Bracket Bet"! Okay, so our predictions for this Better Bracket...could have been better, but we don't have ESP (just ESPN, ha). We hit 4 out of 8 right. Remember, you didn't have to get the player right, just the team that had the hottest of the highest scoring players.

Tomorrow we take a hiatus from all the basketball talk to tackle our next topic. Basic car maintenance. First up - FLUIDS, and no, not the kind you need a black light for :) Stay tuned.

The Knockoff March Madness

2009-03-27T07:15:00.000-07:00

Ok, we are in the middle of the Sweet 16 and Elite 8 weekend, so we thought we'd leave you with a little tidbit that isn't talked about very much, but is mentioned every once in awhile and that is, the National Invitation Tournament or NIT. What is it you ask? Think of it as that Louis Vuitton hand bag you bought on the street corner in New York. Is it still better than something bought at Walmart? Probably. It looks mighty close to the real thing, but it's still not the real thing and that's what the NIT is.

It's a tournament for those teams who were mighty close to qualifying for the real NCAA tournament, but didn't quite make it. Think of it as a consolation prize. Among other names, it has been called:"Not Invited Tournament", "Not Important Tournament", "Nobody's Interested Tournament", "National Insignificant Tournament," or simply "Not In Tournament".

However, it does have it's purposes, just like that knockoff handbag. Many mediocre teams tend to use the tournament as a way to climb out of obscurity and gain some recognition. Again, a handbag that looks like a real Louis Vuitton from a distance is a step above one from Walmart, right? And some higher profile teams will use it to develop freshman or give some of their seniors who aren't playing in the "real" tournament more exposure to help them out in the draft. Um, there is no handbag equivalent to this, sorry :)

So, next season, if, perhaps, you're getting into this whole basketball thing, here are some things to watch for to figure out if your team is going to the knockoff.

1. If at any of there late season away games the home crowd starts chanting NIT, this is a bad sign. (Sidenote: this can be very helpful though in trash talking)
2. If your team is on the bubble at the end of the season, they also have a very good chance of making it into the NIT and finally,
3. If the pattern on either side of a seam doesn't match, oops, that was a tip for discovering if your handbag is a knockoff, but also useful :)

Have a great weekend! Come back Monday to see who won our mini-bracket!

What Not to Wear

2009-03-26T13:51:00.000-07:00

Watching the games out at a bar or house party is no time to show off that new silk dress with sequin trim, because a) the cute shoes you probably would have worn it with will start to kill your feet after standing/cheering at the overcrowded sports bar and because b) buffalo wing grease and bleu cheese dressing is REALLY hard to get out of silk. Yes, we know you look super hot in it, but just trust us on this one. That being said, you don't have to follow the standard uniform of sports jersey either. Besides, you probably don't have any in your closet anyhow. Plus, sports jerseys tend to be HUGE on girls so they end up looking like a badly tailored dress or (heaven forbid you decide to tuck them into your pants) all bunchy around the waist. And even though the sports industry has tried (well, they haven't tried that hard) to accommodate women's fashions, we gotta admit, we're not huge fans of the pink girl-ified jerseys. They have a tendency to make you look like a giant pepto-bismol bottle. And yes, Jessica's just supporting her man (and yes we're aware it's football, not basketball)...but look how well that's turned out for Tony.

The great thing about college basketball is that you can easily find colors of the team you're cheering for. And if you don't care to subscribe to any team...then we say go for (cute) comfort.

On a side note, Eva Longoria is the new rep for Bebe Sport. Sporty? Yes. However, we do NOT recommend you adapt this look for March Madness. Unless you're prone to hot flashes. It probably looks great on Eva...and that's it. Maybe not even. They do wonders with airbrushing these days.

Another note. Face painting. Don't do it huge, and if you're doing letters/numbers, don't use a mirror. Or, you can try the mirror and test out who your true friends are.

Tomorrow we (briefly) explore the NIT and knock-off handbags.

Hot Men Who Know How to Score

2009-03-25T07:14:00.000-07:00

So after a thorough and extremely scientific investigation of the high scoring players, we made our picks for the "Better Bracket Bet". We'll reveal the real outcome on Monday. As for tomorrow, get ready for a lesson in March Madness fashion. How to dress for watching the games without looking like a slob or a skank.

A Better Bracket Bet

2009-03-23T19:19:00.000-07:00

So maybe your bracket is blowing everyone in your pool out of the water...or maybe not. In any case, the Sweet Sixteen games start this Thursday and if you've already stopped caring about who's going to win (or if you never cared much in the first place), we've created a better (mini) bracket bet for you and your girlfriends because who really care about who wins and loses these things anyway? Oh, right...guys. So, what do we, as girls, care about? That's right, HOT GUYS :) Therefore, in order to make watching Sweet 16 games easier on the eyes, we have created a Mini Bracket of hotness.

Below you will find a bracket with only the Sweet Sixteen teams, and we'd like to note that all the hot men we featured from last week have survived. Now, instead of predicting the winner of each game based on highest score (because that was SO last week), we want you to predict which team will have the hottest scorer.

For example, let's take the match-up between Michigan State and Kansas. Let's say that the game ended with Kalin Lucas scoring 14 points for Michigan State and Sherron Collins scores 17 points for Kansas. Sherron's hotter than Kalin, so Kansas would win (regardless of if they won for real or not). In our game, how they do on a scale of 1 to Brad Pitt is more important than the number of points scored.

Most number of right picks wins. We'd suggest betting a bottle of wine or a round of cosmos with the girls. We'll put up our predictions tomorrow and results next week. So it doesn't always have to be about the games...sometimes a little friendly competition, cosmos and watching ripped men run around are all you need.

Water Cooler Talk - Recapping Rounds 1 & 2

2009-03-23T08:27:00.001-07:00

Ok, so, you've made it through the first two rounds, now you're going back to work and must face...the water cooler. Or, at least the proverbial water cooler since, I know we don't have water coolers at our offices.

Anyway, for the most part, the hot guys and even the not-so-hot guys, will be talking about all the highlights and anything noteworthy or weird that happened, so we have decided to dissect two ESPN recap articles. Now, I know ESPN articles can be intimidating, but have no fear, we've marked them up and explained the weirder, sports-geekier things mentioned in each so you can now participate in the water cooler conversations with all of your hot co-workers. And that's the whole point anyway, right?

We'll also give a rundown of the basic upsets during the course of the tournament. Without further ado, the carnage from Rounds 1 and 2:

The Midwest Region was hit hardest:

In round 1
#4 Wake Forest was upset by #13 Cleveland State
#6 West Virginia was upset by #11 Dayton and
#7 Boston College was upset by #10 USC
#8 Ohio State was upset by #9 Siena

The West Region

In round 1
#7 California was upset by #10 Maryland
#8 BYU upset by #9 Texas A&M

The East Region

In round 1
#5 Florida State was upset by #12 Wisconsin (There's your 5-12 upset!)

The South Region

In round 1
#5 Illinois was upset by #12 West Kentucky (another 5-12)
#7 Clemson was upset by #10 Michigan (YAY, but we're not biased)

Round 2 didn't really have any upsets, hence why everyone is talking about a chalk filled Sweet 16 which we will get to when dissecting your articles :)

So, the first article is from ESPN's March to Motown Blog and written by Mark Schlabach. It mostly talks about Sunday's games, but it will help you when reading anything else about the games. You can find the original article here: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/blog/index?entryID=4006995&name=marchmadness

I cut the article off at the end because nothing important occurs on the last page :)

And finally, some bulleted highlights from an article by ESPN sportscaster, Andy Katz. Original article can be found here: http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/ncaatourney09/columns/story?columnist=katz_andy&id=4007346

So, you are now fully equipped to trash talk and win, flirt at the water cooler and decipher the geeky sports talk spewed by the Sportscasters. Whew.

And tomorrow, look for something fun to amuse yourself as we head into the Sweet 16 because this is when the guys actually start watching the games :)

Trash Talkin'- To Hate or to Participate

2009-03-20T07:55:00.000-07:00

If you've got a good office pool going with a competitive bunch of people (and every office has its own versions of Dwight Schrute and Andy Bernard), there will be trash talking. It's a part of the March Madness office pool culture and it doesn't matter if there's money on the line or just bragging rights- there are some people (and maybe you're one of them) who love to create drama. There are two positions you can find yourself in- on the offense where you're trash talking to somebody, or on the defense, when someone's coming to tell you that your teams are doomed.

Offense: Being a pro-active trash talker is going to be a little tricky if you don't know much about the teams. But it also provides you the perfect opportunity to talk (okay, flirt) with that new guy you've been eyeing. You're going to have to do a little research to do this right, but let's face it, you've been stalking him for the past couple weeks anyway (so what if you know he eats lunch at 12:15pm everyday, has an affinity for cool ranch Doritos and can go for a month without repeating his ties? You're naturally observant). You probably already know who he has winning the championship and any special allegiances he has to any of the teams. Is his college Alma mater in the playoffs? Who are his favorites? Once you've figured that out you need to do a little research. Take a look at the teams he's chosen to make it to the Final Four and the Championship. How've they done in previous years? How about the players? Do any of them buckle under pressure? Hey, no one ever said flirty trash talking was going to be effortless. Next, pick out weak spots in the teams and go for the jugular (uh, playfully of course). For example: "You have Duke winning it all? No way.... Duke's a bunch of chokers, they look like they're going to make it and then they break you heart. Plus, they've lost to both UNC games this year! No reason to think that's going to change, so you might as well pay up right now."

Defense: You'll probably find yourself on the defense more often than the offense. We'd say that the best defense is to turn the tables, but there's only so much you can do if you don't know much about the teams. The best course of action here may be just a generic but defiant "It's still early in the tourney" or a skeptical "Mmmhmm, we'll see about that" with a crafty smile throw in.

In any case, do not get intimidated by trash talking. Put your game face on and embrace it.

Enjoy the games this weekend, whether you're watching them willingly or not! Remember to check back Monday when we'll have a recap of what went down and the teams that have survived to play another day.

Talking the Talk

2009-03-19T10:51:00.000-07:00

Ok, so, now that you know about Bracketology, we want you to be able to talk the talk. Let's start with some basics, like what all the lines on the court mean. See diagram below.

Next up: Positions.

There are 5 guys on the court at any one time and you know what else always has 5 guys? Boy Bands. That's right, boy bands. In any given good boy band, there are 5 guys on the stage. I say good so no one gets on me about 98 degrees, etc. Not that I have anything against them either, however, Nsync, Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block fit this analogy a little bit better.

So, in a boy band you have 5 positions to be filled:

Really Young Cute Guy, e.g. Joe (NKOTB), Justin (Nsync) and Nick (BBs)

The Actual Main Singer Guy, e.g. JC (Nsync, since Justin's already taken), Jordan (NKOTB) and hmm, Brian (BBs)

Old Guy, e.g. Kris Kirkpatrick (Nsync), Kevin (BBs) and Jon (NKOTB)

Bad Boy, e.g. AJ (BBs), Donnie (NKOTB), hmm Nsync is hard, i'll just stick Joey here, he did dye his hair red

Last but not least, the Quiet One, e.g. Lance (Nsync), Howie (BBs) and Danny (NKOTB - you could argue that Jon also filled this role, however, this is referring to singing and Danny only ever did the deep speaking parts)

Now, on the basketball court you have:

The Point Guard

The Point Guard is most similar to your Actual Main Singer Guy in a boy band because he is the team's best ballhandler, just like the Main Singer Guy is the band's best singer. I'm going to give examples of players in the NBA because it's more likely you've heard of them. Most famous is probably Magic Johnson, current examples are: Jason Kidd, Steve Nash, Chauncey Billups.

The Shooting Guard

The Shooting guard is most like the Young Cute Guy in a boy band because he is the best offensive player and because of that tends to be the team's all star and, let's be honest, the Cute Young Guys on boy bands tend to be the breakout stars. Look no further than Justin Timberlake. Examples of Shooting Guards: Most famous - Michael Jordan, current - Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade.

The Small Forward

The name can be deceiving because, typically, they are smaller, but they don't have to be. They're just usually quicker and leaner than power forwards and centers. The Small Forward is most like the Bad Boy in a boy band because the key to a good Small Forward is versatility and Bad Boys, while being bad, can also be pretty good singers and dancers. Examples of Small Forwards: Most famous - Larry Bird and Scottie Pippen, current - LeBron James, Shawn Marion.

The Power Forward

The Power Forward is similar to the Quiet One in a boy band because they tend to be the unsung heroes, playing a large role on defense and since the offensive players get all the glory, just like the main singers do, Power Forwards tend to be a little less audacious. Examples of Power Forwards: Most famous: Charles Barkley, Karl Malone, current - Tim Duncan, Dirk Nowitzki, Kevin Garnett

The Center

The Center is most similar to the Old Guy in a boy band because he is often referred to the Big Man and the Old Guy on boy bands are referred to as the big brother and may also be considered a "Big Man". With boy bands this is in reference to their age but in basketball this is literally in reference to their physical size. Typically they are no less than 7'0" in height. Sort of like how, when the boy bands start, the old guy is usually no younger than like, 17 or 18 :) Examples of Centers: Most famous - Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, current - Shaquille O'Neal, Yao Ming, Dwight Howard (LOVE HIM)

Ok, now that you have the positions and the court down, let's get into some lingo. Following is a list with explanations of common terms you'll hear while watching or reading about a basketball game.

The Shot Clock - Failure to attempt a shot that hits the rim within 35 seconds in college baskeball results in loss of possession. A buzzer goes off when the shot clock reaches zero. Think of this as the amount of time a stranger has to impress you. He's got 35 seconds to hit you with something that makes you want to give him your number and if he fails, a buzzer goes off in your head and he's lost posession of your attention :)

The Key also known as The Paint - (see the diagram to locate it on the actual court) This is the critical area on the court, where much of the action takes place in a game. Similar to the VIP area in the club. It's where everyone wants to be, it's a restricted area and you know it's where everything's goin down.

Dribble - traveling with the ball while bouncing it up and down continuously.

Layup - a shot with one hand from a point close to the basket, in which a player shoots the ball toward the basket, often off the backboard. This is a type of shot a player takes and you'll hear it a lot during games. The name refers to the action of "laying the ball in the basket".

Post up - To "post up" is to establish a position in the low post, the area near the basket below the foul line, usually in order to take advantage of a smaller defender. The term refers to the player standing there like a post in the ground. Others who "post up", bouncers outside the club. They are imovable forces preying on the little people.

Jump shot/Jumper - Um, jumping while getting off a shot as opposed to...not jumping :)

Pick, Pick and roll - A pick is also known as a screen and is an offensive/defensive move. The play begins with a defender guarding a ballhandler. The ballhandler moves toward a teammate, who sets a "screen" (or "pick") by standing in the way of the defender, who is separated from the still-moving ballhandler. The defender is forced to choose between guarding the ballhandler or the screener. If the defender tries to guard the ballhandler, then the screener can move toward the basket, sometimes by a foot pivot ("roll"), and is now open for a pass. If the defender chooses instead to guard the screening teammate, then the ballhandler has an open shot. This play is also useful out with your girls at the club. If a sketchy, gross, greasy guy approaches you, have your girlfriend move in and block him from you, then gross guy must decide to either hit on your friend or you. If he chooses to hit on your friend, you're free to get the bouncer to kick this guy out. If he chooses you, then your friend can go get the bouncer :)

Foul - An attempt to unfairly disadvantage an opponent through physical contact. Like when that really hot bad boy, who you know is not good for you, touches your arm and makes you drool a little bit. This is a foul because it puts you at an unfair disadvantage to say no to him through physical contact. Now, there are different types of fouls, they are Personal fouls and Technical fouls.

A Personal is a breach of the rules that concerns illegal personal contact with an opponent and is the most common type of foul in basketball. A Technical is any infraction of the rules penalized as a foul which does not involve physical contact during the course of play between players on the court, or is a foul by a non-player. The most common technical foul is for unsportsmanlike conduct. Technical fouls can be assessed against players, bench personnel, or even the entire team. College players get 5 personal fouls before being fouled out, which means they're out of the game.

Free Throw - Players who are fouled either receive the ball to pass inbounds again, or receive one or more free throws if they are fouled in the act of shooting, depending on whether the shot was successful. Each free throw is worth one point.

3 Point Line - (see diagram) Any basket made by a player who shoots the ball on the outside of the 3 point line scores 3 points for that basket as opposed to two, wich is standard unless it's a free throw (see above).

Glass - another name for the backboard of the basket. Often heard as, off the glass.

Rebound - is the act of successfully gaining possession of the basketball after a missed field goal (this is the technical term for basket) or free throw.

Time outs - Each Team get 4 - 75 second timeouts and 2 - 30 second timeouts for the game.

Traveling - is a violation of the rules that occurs when a player holding the ball illegally moves one or both of his feet. Most commonly, a player travels by illegally moving his pivot foot or taking too many steps without dribbling the ball.

X-Factor - a hard-to-describe influence or quality; an important element with unknown consequences. Often you'll hear commentators talk about the X-factor of a game, meaning who will step up, and the unknowns that could sway the game in a team's favor.

Now that you've got the lingo down, get out there and impress everyone with your new vocabulary. And remember, the terms can work both ways. So next time you're out clubbing with your girlfriends you can be like "Yeah, that guy's shock clock totally hit zero. Let's check out the Key but be ready for a pick and roll".

Tomorrow, we break out the trash talkin'.

Hot Men on Campus

2009-03-18T12:33:00.001-07:00

All right, the moment you've all been waiting for, the Hot Men on Campus Post. We've taken some of the top 12 teams, whom we think will be in the tournament at least longer than the 1st and 2nd rounds and chosen whom we think is the hottest guy on each team. Now, the hottness factor is based on a few criteria, first - he has to be one of the best on the team, otherwise you'd never even see them, second - body (arms and legs) and third face :)

Also, we're listing the mascot and colors for each team so you can decipher who's playing who, etc.

Without further ado, the hot guys of the tournament:

Pittsburgh Panthers

Colors: Blue and gold
Hot guy: #45 DeJuan Blair

He's the one on the left in the above pic

DeJuan is 6 feet 7 inches and 265 pounds of yumminess. The blue, gold and white uniforms of the Panthers look good on him and he's got great arms, great legs and plenty of muscle. And you can't go wrong with that face ;) Although he's only a sophomore, he's got NBA potential and is definitely someone to watch during this tournament. Look for him at Forward, see tomorrow's post on positions.

Duke Blue Devils

Colors: Blue and white
Hot Guy: #30 Jon Scheyer

Um, can we say All-American boy? He is 6 feet, 5 inches and 185 pounds of wholesome goodness and as a junior, you don't have to feel like you're robbing the cradle :) So, if you like the long and lanky type, oh and also blue eyes and blonde hair, then keep an eye on this Guard.

North Carolina Tar Heels

Colors: Baby blue and white
#50 Tyler Hansbrough

With a name like Tyler Hansbrough how can he not be handsome. This baby faced Senior plays at Forward and is 6 feet, 9 inches and 250 pounds of pure braun. How could you not like him?

Oklahoma Sooners (dude, it really is a covered wagon, you'd think Oregon would have this mascot)

Colors: Red and White
Hot Guys: #5 Tony Crocker and #32 Taylor Griffin (Taylor's pics are first)

Taylor's on the left. His younger brother, Blake Griffin is on the right

This one was a toss up. Tony Crocker has that young, cute, skinny vibe going on at 6 feet 6 inches and 206 pounds. He's a Junior and looks good in a shirt and tie. Taylor, on the other hand is 6 feet 7 inches and 238 pounds. He has that long, chiseled face that should make every woman swoon ;)

Syracuse Oranges (not kidding, long story about the Orange)

Colors: Um, Orange and a litte bit of white :)
Hot Guy: #11 Paul Harris

This was a tough one, but it was the white under armor pic. Can we say inverted V? Plus, he pulls off orange, which is difficult to do. So, at 6 feet 4 inches and 230 pounds (which can only be muscle), keep an eye on him during the tournament and maybe he'll take his shirt off :) Also, as a sidenote, Syracuse had a rough road on their way to the tournament. They went into 6 over times for a win against Connecticut and then another overtime against West Virginia. We don't know about you, but we think we all like guys who can keep going and going and...

Villanova Wildcats

Colors: Blue and white...again
Hot Guy: #33 Dante Cunningham

Arms shot

We have a weakness for little boy faces and Dante's got one. He's another long and lanky one at 6 feet 8 inches and 230 pounds, plus he's a senior. Yay, not too young. Not that it matters. Oh well.

University of Missouri Tigers

Colors: black and gold
Hot guy: #5 Leo Lyons
Leo is 6ft 9 inches of FINE. He's a Kansas City momma's boy that gets a pep talk from her right before games. Everybody all together now...awwww...... He's also an aspiring musician who writes and performs his own music. An athlete and a musician all in one? What more could a girl want?

University of Kansas Jayhawks
Colors: blue, gray, crimson and yellow. Someone really couldn't just decide on 2 colors?
Hot guy: #54 Matt Kleinmann

Oh, big red, we heart all 6'10, 250 lbs of you. We're not going to lie, we usually wouldn't pick a redhead but we couldn't resist with Matt. Clearly, he's very affectionate and into hugging. We're all up for that. But wait, there's more. In addition to his basketball skills, he's a senior architecture major who's made the honor roll every single year. We LOVE the smart cookies who will be able to design our dream house. Plus, he's got the impishness that reminds us a little of Ron Weasley, uh, but in a non-pedophilic way.

University of Memphis Tigers

Colors: blue and gray
Hot guy: #11 Wesley Witherspoon

With a name like Wesley Witherspoon (and not being related to Reese) you'd think he'd seen his fair share of rough playground days in elementary school. But he's clearly got some serious aerial skills. That's no small feat when you have 6 ft 8 inches and 200 pounds to launch into the air. He's a freshman, so we'll be looking forward to seeing much more of him in the coming years.

University of Connecticut Huskies
Colors: blue and white
Hot guy: #34 Hasheem Thabeet
We have a true cover boy on our hands with Hasheem. He's graced the covers of both Sports Illustrated College Edition and ESPN The Magazine. And ESPN couldn't even fit him on the cover without him ducking his head. That's because when you're 7'4 and 263 lbs (yes, you read that right, SEVEN FOUR) there aren't many places you can go without needing to duck. We may need to add a few more inches to our Manolos...

Michigan State Spartans
Colors: green and white
Hot guy: #15 Durrell Summers

Freshman Durrell has all the qualities of your typical basketball player- the height (6'4), the agility (helped out by his 195 lb frame), the beautiful muscles and leaps that cause crowds to wow in amazement. But unlike the "general studies" majors...Durrell has decided to pick...computer science. Do those two worlds even mesh!?!? Apparently Durrell is out to prove you CAN be a jock and a nerd all at the same time. And we have a secret soft spot for the nerdy guys. Oh wait, but he's also beautiful. Did we mention that? This may be the trifecta.

University of Louisville Cardinals
Colors: red and black
Hot guy: #20 Will Scott

Does this one really need an explanation?! At 6'3 and 185 lbs, Will Scott is delicious. He left the Ivies for Louisville and it looks like it suits him just fine. Will comes from a sports family- both his mom and dad are doctors for the WNBA Liberty and the NY Knicks, respectively. We also know that he's scared of the dark. Don't worry Will, we'll come over to protect you any time you want...

So there you have it! Your eye candy for March Madness. Keep a look out for them if you happen to be watching the games. Just don't get carried away with the drool. It can get to be quite embarassing.

Our choices for Prom Date, or, um, National Champion.

2009-03-17T14:23:00.000-07:00

Ok, so, Thursday is the big day, all brackets will be due by then if you're participating in a pool. If you've got money on it, all the better. See our bracket listed below. Note, we have all 4 number 1's going to the final four and statistically, this NEVER happens (okay, except for last year when it DID happen but that's like finding the perfect hairdresser on your first try. It really never happens except for a wild fluke). But, if you're new at this we feel it's easier and better to do this as a default because you're more likely to get the national champion pick correct, in addition to more correct selections throughout the tournament.

One of the best ways to choose is to compare what the pundits are saying. Here are some pundits to look at if you feel like searching for some commonalities:

ESPN's "experts"
http://videos.espn.com/m/video/21989164/final_four_picks.htm?pageid=14022

collegehoops.net
http://www.collegehoopsnet.com/ncaatournament/2009/prediction.htm

Fox Sports
http://msn.foxsports.com/cbk/story/9342712/Can-you-beat-Jeff-Goodman's-picks?

yahoo sports (this just keeps track of trends and the percentage of people who picking which teams, there's a separate tab for each round at the top in orange.)
http://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/t1/group/all/pickdistribution?tid=883521

Good luck, however you decide to choose your bracket! Remember to check back tomorrow for our review of the hottest guys of the tournament. If the games themselves aren't enough to keep you interested....these guys will.

2009-03-16T16:29:00.000-07:00

Now, if you've been picking your teams based on mascot cuteness and that works for you, by all means, carry on. For those of you looking for a filled out bracket presented to you on a silver platter, we'll be posting our picks tomorrow (um...maybe minus the silver platter). That being said, if you're looking for some strategies to make your own selections, we've got you covered (don't worry, you can still tell people you made your picks based on the mascots if you want).

First, a couple of things to keep in mind. Winning the office pool doesn't mean you have to correctly pick the champion, no matter what type of scoring system your office is using. You get points for every team you correctly pick to advance to the next level, so it's possible that you pick the wrong team to win the championship but still win your office pool, unlike the poor sap that did miraculously pick the right championship winner, but screwed everything else up. That said, you still need to be a little daring and risky because the best is if you pick a team to advance that everyone else didn't. So here's what the bracket looks like now. What's circled is the opening round game, which happens tomorrow to determine who's going to play as #16 in the East, and it'll be either Alabama State or Morehead State. Don't worry, that game isn't apart of the office pool, so just wait until Tuesday and fill in the correct team.

Step 1: For the First and Second Rounds, it's generally a good idea to pick the higher ranked team to go on to the second round, especially when you've got two unevenly matched teams (a #1 ranked team playing a #16 ranked team). If you're one for historical facts, a #16 ranked team has never won a game in the tournament, and it's kinda rare for a #15 seed to win a game (though it's been done). The lowest seeded team ever to win the championship was #8 ranked Villanova, but that was way back in the 80s, when they were still celebrating the short basketball shorts, Aquanet and big perms. There are still a few quirks. For instance, there is usually a #12 ranked team that beats a #5 ranked team every year. You could take your chances and guess who this might be, but at a risk- there are four #5 vs. #12 games and if you pick the wrong #12 to win, it could be an early on disaster, especially if the #5 team you eliminated in the first round ends up advancing far into the tournament. Also, in round 1 when it comes to choosing between the #8 and #9 teams, don't stress, the winner plays the #1 ranked team next and will usually be eliminated then.

Step 2: A lot of people make their picks based on stats- and some even go into making up their own analysis and modeling programs trying to predict a winner. Unless you want to run the risk of going blind from trying to read and figure out what a bunch of numbers mean, die from boredom AND have a sucky bracket, conducting your own stats analysis is not recommended. That being said, take a look at the teams. Are the coaches veterans? Is there a team with a superstar who's NBA bound next year? And while we advocate not looking too much into the stats, that doesn't mean you should discard what OTHER people are saying about the stats. Which brings us to...

Step 3: Consider the pundits (experts). Joe Lundari, Dick Vitale and Jerry Palm eat, breathe and live this stuff. March Madness is their Christmas. Joe is ESPN's expert, Dick went rouge and has his own site at dickvitaleonline.com (there's a lot of cheesy opening music on his site- you've been warned) and Jerry's a stats man and runs www.collegerpi.com. There's a lot of mixed feelings out there about the pundits- everyone's got a slightly different tweak on things and sometimes they're super wrong. So look for commonalities between the pundits. If Joe, Dick and Jerry all pick UNC to be in their top four then it might be something for you to consider. Just remember that nothing is guaranteed and it's "Madness" for a reason.

Step 4: From the Final Four on up to the Championship is really a crapshoot. Go with your instincts- even if that means going with the cutest mascot.

Hope this gets you started, and remember to check back tomorrow to see our tourney picks, a tidy recap of what the pundits are saying, and who we think will win it all in Deeeetroit.

Strategies for Picking Your Teams

2009-03-16T16:23:00.000-07:00

So if you can't beat them, you might as well have fun joining them. In filling out your bracket, don't get intimidated at picking your teams. While there are some strategies that the pros love to tout, the great thing about March Madness is the unpredictability of the games. Highly ranked teams may get eliminated early (this is like you eliminating one of your prom date contenders you had really high hopes for because it turns out he's got really bad body odor and a hairy back) while teams that were expected to get eliminated early end up surprising everybody (the awkward guy on your prom date list turns out to be really funny and charming- once you get to know him. Who'd of thought?) . That's part of what makes the tournament so exciting- it's hard to predict what happens so it levels out the playing field somewhat.

Now, if you've been picking your teams based on mascot cuteness and that works for you, by all means, carry on. For those of you looking for a filled out bracket presented to you on a silver platter, we'll be posting our picks tomorrow (um...maybe minus the silver platter). That being said, if you're looking for some strategies to make your own selections, we've got you covered (don't worry, you can still tell people you made your picks based on the mascots if you want).

First, a couple of things to keep in mind. Winning the office pool doesn't mean you have to correctly pick the champion, no matter what type of scoring system your office is using. You get points for every team you correctly pick to advance to the next level, so it's possible that you pick the wrong team to win the championship but still win your office pool, unlike the poor sap that did miraculously pick the right championship winner, but screwed everything else up. That said, you still need to be a little daring and risky because the best is if you pick a team to advance that everyone else didn't. So here's what the bracket looks like now. What's circled is the opening round game, which happens tomorrow to determine who's going to play as #16 in the East, and it'll be either Alabama State or Morehead State. Don't worry, that game isn't apart of the office pool, so just wait until Tuesday and fill in the correct team.

Step 3: Consider the pundits (experts). Joe Lundari, Dick Vitale and Jerry Palm eat, breathe and live this stuff. March Madness is their Christmas. Joe is ESPN's expert, Dick went rogue and has his own site at dickvitaleonline.com (there's a lot of cheesy opening music on his site- you've been warned) and Jerry's a stats man and runs www.collegerpi.com. There's a lot of mixed feelings out there about the pundits- everyone's got a slightly different tweak on things and sometimes they're super wrong. So look for commonalities between the pundits. If Joe, Dick and Jerry all pick UNC to be in their top four then it might be something for you to consider. Just remember that nothing is guaranteed and it's "Madness" for a reason.

Step 4: From the Final Four on up to the Championship is really a crapshoot. Go with your instincts- even if that means going with the cutest mascot.

Hope this gets you started, and remember to check back tomorrow to see our tourney picks, a tidy recap of what the pundits are saying, and who we think will win it all in Deeeetroit.

March Madness

2009-03-15T17:24:00.000-07:00

Our first lesson centers around March Madness.

What is so important about March Madness you ask? Well, if you have a boyfriend who's into sports at all, then March Madness is important because it will consume his life for the next month. If you are trying to get the attention of a guy who is into sports, then understanding March Madness is the only way you're going to get his attention short of parading in front of him naked waving a foam finger. And that might not even work if you've got the wrong team's foam finger.

So, why is it such a big deal in the sports world? Well, let's start with what it actually is. March Madness is another name for the NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Championship Tournament. It's called March Madness because it lasts the month of March. However, it is also known as the Big Dance.

Now there's something we can understand, right? The Big Dance. Prom. Let's just call March Madness Prom.

Ok, if we look at March Madness as Prom, we can start to understand the hoopla.

So, let's break this down, shall we.

It's day 1 of your senior year and already you're thinking about prom. Who are you going to go with? I mean, this is a full year project. Let's say there are 200 guys in your senior class, all of whom, at the beginning of the year, are possible dates. As the year progresses, many drop out of the running and within a month of Prom, 64 prospective guys are left. You have 1 month to narrow the pool of possible dates from 64 to 1.

Now, I don't know about you, but if I had 64 prospective Prom dates, I'd be pretty damn excited about this last month leading up to Prom. I mean this is when the strong and hot will conquer and the weak and nerdy will fall until you have that perfect Prom date.

If you can see yourself getting excited by this then you'll start to have some understanding of why March Madness is such a big deal. The tournament starts with 64 college teams and throughout the month, gets whittled down to a single champion. And, unlike prom, this Big Dance does not require your men to actually dance or wear a tux. They can enjoy it from their couch, eating pizza and drinking beer. You can see the attraction.

The other big to do about March Madness is Bracketology.

Betting and brackets is a mainstay of March Madness and below you will find a diagram of a typical bracket. But, instead of college basketball teams, we have filled out a celebrity smackdown bracket for your viewing pleasure. The diagram breaks down and explains the various parts of the bracket because many of you may be asked by your hot co-worker to join an office pool and that is where we come in. In the next week, whether you're trying to impress that hot, jock co-worker or you're being forced to watch the games with your jock boyfriend or both (we won't judge if you've got a boyfriend and are trying to attract that hot co-worker, we've all been there) either way, in the next week we'll be offering advice on how to survive March Madness and make it fun for you and your girlfriends.

Now, today is a big day because it is Selection Sunday, when the final games are played to determine which 64 teams have made the tournament cut. So, here is the schedule of topics for the upcoming week!

Monday: Brackets, our picks and how to pick your own

Tuesday: Our picks

Wednesday: Hot guys of the tournament

Thursday: Basketball Basics

Friday: Trash Talking

Sit back and relax, March Madness has never been so FUN!

Welcome to The Girl's Guyde

2009-03-15T16:53:00.000-07:00

Hello, and welcome to the Girl's GUYde, where we take out the GUY in GUYde. In other words, this blog is dedicated to helping you wean yourself away from your dependence on men. So, whether it be trying to understand sports or figuring out how to communicate with your mechanic, we are dedicated to breaking down, deciphering and translating all things you'd normally ask a man about. Why should you learn about things like how to patch a hole in your apartment before you move out or what a royal flush in poker is? Several reasons. First, if you have no men in your life, then you need to know these things in order to avoid getting screwed by the many men out to rip us ladies off (mechanics are a good example). Second, if you want a man, then knowing about sports and being independent can help you get one. And third, because, in the words of Destiny's Child: Depend on no one else to give you what you want. And, you know, whether you like Beyonce or not, the girl knows what she's doin', and holdin' her own with Jay. You gotta give the girl props.

Disclaimer: We are NOT, I repeat NOT, a girl power, feminist, anti-men Blog. We shave our legs, like hot boys and like it when they open doors for us. Seriously. We are not about learning how to do all these things yourself for the purpose of eliminating men...I mean, let's not get ridiculous. But wouldn't it be better if you didn't NEED your man to put together that new furniture from IKEA, you just LET him do it :) Wouldn't it be better if the only things you NEEDED him for were great company, great conversation and a great orgasm? That's all we're saying. Think about Carrie and how she needed Miranda and Samantha to help explain things like, how to buy her apartment. She didn't know how to manage her money. Even if you aren't a Samantha or a Miranda, wouldn't you have wanted to be them instead of Carrie, just that one time? I mean, Carrie was literally the woman who lived in her shoes.

In conclusion, we want to see you independent, but that doesn't mean you have to be hairy and banish men. We just want to educate you just in case, heaven forbid, you don't happen to have a dependable man in your life to ask instead.

The Girl's Guyde

The geek fest continues

Those clever geeks...

Further Reading

The start of summer...blockbusters

Comic Con

Comic Book vs. Graphic Novel Part 2

Comic Book vs. Graphic Novel Part 1

Grill vs. Grillz vs. Grille

Man Meat

Fake it till you make it

We didn't start the fire...

Are you Gassy?

Playing Defense

What Your Drink Says About You

Navigating foreign territory...the Sports Bar

Know Your Cups

Liquor? I barely know her!

Mesh Patches

Cover up

Hangin' Tough

What Makes Grown Men Cry

The Peeps Championship

Foursomes

It's Getting Hot in Herr

Just Say "No"

Fluids

Elimination Weekend

The Knockoff March Madness

What Not to Wear

Hot Men Who Know How to Score

A Better Bracket Bet

Water Cooler Talk - Recapping Rounds 1 & 2

Trash Talkin'- To Hate or to Participate

Talking the Talk

Hot Men on Campus

Our choices for Prom Date, or, um, National Champion.

Strategies for Picking Your Teams

March Madness

Welcome to The Girl's Guyde